To anyone paying attention these days, it's clear that social media -- whether Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn or any of the countless other modern-day water coolers -- are changing the way we live.
Indeed, we might feel as if we are suddenly awash in friends. Yet right before our eyes, we're also changing the way we conduct relationships. Face-to-face chatting is giving way to texting and messaging; people even prefer these electronic exchanges to, for instance, simply talking on a phone. Smaller circles of friends are being partially eclipsed by Facebook acquaintances routinely numbered in the hundreds. Amid these smaller trends, growing research suggests we could be entering a period of crisis for the entire concept of friendship. Where is all this leading modern-day society? Perhaps to a dark place, one where electronic stimuli slowly replace the joys of human contact.
Awareness of a possible problem took off just as the online world was emerging. Sociologist Robert Putnam published the book Bowling Alone, a survey of the depleting levels of "social capital" in communities, from churches to bowling allies. The pattern has been replicated elsewhere in the Western world. In the United Kingdom, the Mental Health Foundation just published The Lonely Society, which notes that about half of Brits believe they're living in, well, a lonelier society. One in three would like to live closer to their families, though social trends are forcing them to live farther apart.
Typically, the pressures of urban life are blamed: In London, another poll had two-fifths of respondents reporting that they face a prevailing drift away from their closest friends. Witness crowded bars and restaurants after work: We have plenty of acquaintances, though perhaps few individuals we can turn to and share deep intimacies. American sociologists have tracked related trends on a broader scale, well beyond the urban jungle. According to work published in the American Sociological Review, the average American has only two close friends, and a quarter don't have any.
Shallow friendships
It should be noted that other social scientists contest these conclusions. Hua Wang and Barry Wellman, of the universities of Southern California and Toronto respectively, refer to "some panic in the United States about a possible decline in social connectivity." But notice their language: "social connectivity." That is not the same as intimate friendship. While social networking sites and the like have grown exponentially, the element that is crucial, and harder to investigate, is the quality of the connections they nurture. (continued...)
© 2010 USA TODAY under contract with YellowBrix. All rights reserved.
sharon:
Posted: 2010-07-29 @ 12:13pm PT
I feel social media has made the world closer. People who could never connect are and people who have always been connected use this as an additional way.
Sharon Baumeyer
Marc LeVine:
Posted: 2010-07-29 @ 11:35am PT
Mark:
You make some excellent points, here. I tend to believe that given the opportunity to take the path of least resistence, most people will embrace the non face-to-face conversation, before they will ever choose in-person, face-to-face meetings.
When I remember that the first picture telephones were introduced at the New York World's Fair in 1964, it amazes me that in all the time since then, face-to-face communications over technology is still not the leading form of human conversation. Skype may help make some inroads with this, but I am not sure it will change the nature of how we communicate, very significantly. At least, not for awhile.
The Web has caused us to become somewhat lazy and less interested in communicated directly with others in many other areas, too. Years ago, when I first became a recruiter I was taught to use effective tactics such as rusing and phoning to reach the people we either wanted to recruit or solicit job orders from.
Since the Web has been around, most recruiters simply pick resumes off of Monster, Careerbuilder and Hot Jobs, rather than cold call prospects. Nearly everyone can do this. This is not real recruiting and it has hurt the staffing industry tremendously, in my opinion.
We all need to meet with and connect with people when we can. We need to make eye contact, shake hands and trade body language with others, not simply poke them in Facebook.
Marc LeVine
Director of Social Media
RiaEnjolie, Inc.
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